You really coming over, don't trick.
actually, I'm a sock model
one might say we're banned from that church
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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