Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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