My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
