I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Randomize
