I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
