Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
