Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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