I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
