all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
