Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
