dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
So much rum. So many feels.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
