Soap is not a condiment
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
