I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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