weddingsv make me drug and hornr
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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