you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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