She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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