belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
