Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I think my moral compass just broke
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