I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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