I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
