That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
