i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
