My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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