grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Randomize
