Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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