She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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