so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize