Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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