You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
