your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
