Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Randomize
