I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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