never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Randomize
