Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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