last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
