its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
