Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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