It's like a parade of train wrecks.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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