standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
