I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
