i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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