This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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