It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
