I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
