tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Damn victory sex feels great
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
