wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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