just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
