They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
