you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Houston, we have a blender
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
