It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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