Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Randomize
