Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
