Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
