I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
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