Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
