he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
