Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
