yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
My butt remains clenched, sir.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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