my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Someone stole a lamp last night.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
