I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
